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Liveaboards.

July 11, 2013

Well our timeline was sped up due to circumstances.  It was either find housing and work in Colorado…or take what we could scratch together and buy a boat that will be our house and start looking for work from there.  The fact that the perfect boat at the perfect price presented itself to us at the perfect moment, sealed the deal.

Please look for updates at http://www.helmhounds.com.  I haven’t posted a lot there because it took us about a month to get reliable internet, and the change in lifestyle has me not on the computer much at all.  This will change…its simply adjustments.

Here is our most recent post:  http://helmhounds.com/aboard/smokey-shakedown-cruise/

 

 

 

 

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Pulled the trigger.

March 29, 2013

I gave 30 days notice today.  We are under contract on a boat.  By mid-May I might just be writing from my floating home.  

 

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Pinch me.

March 14, 2013

We are under contract on a boat.

Happy happy joy joy!

I will be public about this in about 15 days or so…so there will be more details then!

 

Emotional Attachment to Stuff.

February 14, 2013

wago

 

 

I have sold a lot of things in this minimalism process.   On craigslist alone I’ve sold over 80 items.  Ebay?  At least 20.  And let me point out this is all my nicest, biggest stuff.   It amazes me.   I’ve regretted only the fact that I like the stuff.  We dont buy much and when we do its nice.  But really, its been really easy for me emotionally.  The only thing that gets me is the baby stuff.  That’s less about the stuff and more the typical “my baby is growing up” bitter-sweetness   I’ve had a string of sales the last two months.  Quite a few big ticket items, and even some baby things.  Great, I’ve been glad to make progress.  But today I sold my daughters little red wagon and I feel like a vice is squeezing my heart.  Perhaps it is partly guilt, as she has yet to discover this.  Perhaps its simple sadness.   How many suburban miles have I covered pulling that thing and a well sunscreened baby?  Hell maybe its hormones…but today I was sad when I heard that familiar rattle of the wagon as the lady dragged it away to her car.  I looked at the hundred dollar bill in my hand and told myself it goes in my daughters own envelope.  For every thing of hers we sell she gets the cash.  Once we move into our new life she’ll have a fat wad of cash to buy more appropriate toys.  It doesnt make me feel better.  I tell myself that we are doing this for her too.  To give her a dynamic upbringing; raising her outside of the box and not encouraging her to become just a part of the machine.  The sea will be her backyard.  Boat kids are fantastic and few regret their upbringings.  Once in a while, doubt slips in.  All over damn red wagon?  Who cares about the big house and the two rental properties, the nice furniture, the art, the car and motorcycle…but woe-is-me about the red wagon?  WTF?  I dont mind grappling a little with doubt, but I fear experiencing regret.  I dont want to disappoint my future.  I mostly feel 100% secure in this bizarre change in lifestyle.  I just wonder if I’ll ever stop grieving the red wagon?

I’m in hiding!

January 14, 2013

Yes  I’m still here and YES I’m THIS MUCH closer to living on a sailboat and giving the big middle finger to the standard suburban lifestyle.  Where have I been?  In hiding.  Seriously.  Trust me I think of a million things to write about every day and like most voracious bloggers I think I have a lot to say.   But I part of the plan includes keeping the paycheck job until the end of April.  That means I give notice at the end of March.  I work in the internet industry and just cant afford being found out sooner.  So I’ve MADE myself shut-the-fuck-up.  This is torture for me.  We are selling everything.  We are leaving in the beginning of May.  If we dont have a boat by then (and we have one on the line but I wont even go into that for fear of jinxing it!) then we’ll head for Florida and rent a month-to-month while we boat shop.

In a strange way its harder to be so close.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Dont ask me a question unless you want the truth and I’ll tell you more about me than I should at all times.  This is so hard.  I kept my pregnancy secret for 3 months and it damn near killed me.  This is harder.  I’m so excited.  So proud.  I’m broke.  Bankrupt.  And months away from being FREE.  And I am so sorry I did not recognize your comments sooner but really.  This is sketchy and I have nightmares of my boss calling me back and pointing to his screen, and when I get closer I see it’s this blog.  Would it be the end of the world?  No.  But I’m 40 days out from being safely out of the closet on this and I need to make it that far.  Bear with me.  I’ll be back and with a vengeance   Meanwhile.  Time and Tide wait for no one.  Just read the blog of a couple that were out there for a year before the diagnosis of a brain tumor.  They are the lucky ones.  They got out there.  Just remember…dont hold on to false security.  Its an illusion.

I’ll.  Be.  Back.

Searching for Ikigai…and forgetting to die.

October 25, 2012

So its been a long time no?  There are reasons.  Good, progressive reasons.  But since there is SO much progression and our plan relies on my staying employed for a while more its best not to broadcast certain developments on the Internet.

*insert a squeal of excitement here*

So instead I’d like to comment on an article in the NYTimes today.  “The Island Where People Forget to Die.”  Intriguing, yes?  One can glean about 100 different topics of conversation from it but what I’d like focus on is the effect of the pace of life on your longevity and over all health.  I feel, without a doubt, that the rat race is killing me.  I’ve aged a lot in my 30’s and not in the way the magazines say are good.  I can feel aches in my body at almost all times.   I shudder at the honesty of cameras and the lines all over my face.   I cant seem to find the time to do anything for myself unless it comes at the expense of sleep(…and did I ever adequately explain how much I like to sleep?)   Take today for instance:  I woke up at 5:30am today to have the time to do some yoga, which my aching neck and back needed, and still have time to drive in the bumper-to-bumper traffic caused by the first snow of the season to my 10 hours of indentured servitude…I mean my job.  My job, although flexible in some ways and full of great friends, is the least fulfilling thing in my life.  There is not one thing I do in the 10 hours that I am here that makes me feel like its truly worth the time it took to do it.  At the buffet of life my plate is piled high with stuff I don’t like to eat.  What would I like to do otherwise?  I HAVE NO IDEA.  I’ve never felt that I had the financial or emotional freedom to really explore that.  If I were honest then I’d have  to say that I want to: sleep in every day; do yoga and exercise every day; do something creative like read, write sew or whatever, every day; spend quality time with my daughter every day; and learn to cook and eat tasty healthy food every day.  Somewhere in there I’ve got to make a living.  (But preferably not every day!)  It would be great if I at least felt that the hours of the day I spent at work and not doing the thing on my “want” list were making me or the world a better place. Overall I’m thinking the idea of a rigid rob with a boss, schedule and performance reviews is not the path to happiness.  What I want is a little breathing room in life to maybe find another WAY.  And perhaps to never set my fucking alarm clock again?  I need some ikigai,

the notion of ikigai — “the reason for which you wake up in the morning”  

and then maybe I too might forget to die.

Signs of Changes…

September 9, 2012

 

No post for no reason.  Sometimes I get supersticious…like putting things into words will jinx them.   So now I take a chance and do it anyway.  I’ve declared bankruptcy.  The hearing is in a few weeks.  I’m now the proud owner of nothing.  Thats a hell of a lot better than being the owner of hopeless real estate debt.  With that being done there is nothing but habit keeping us from the shoreline.  So an official unspecific date of ‘the spring.’ Has been set.  The company that I work for has tight decisions coming up and I’m sure it involves more cuts or layoffs.  That will affect the date.  Regardless we either buy a boat first or go down and stay with inlaws while shopping boats and rebuilding our lives.

Spring.  Thats about 8 months.  Thats crazy.

Anyway…I’m sitting here looking out the living room window and one solitary yellow leaf fell through the air.  I watched it fall about 30 feet , swinging this way and that, floating down.  Fall is coming.  In just weeks the leaves will be gone and winter will be here.  Its made me feel melancholy and sad.   I will miss this place, where I am a Native and a child of the Pioneers.  But how nice to be excited about coming home for vacations.  I’ll miss the people, the animals, the smells and the light.  have you ever noticed how the light is different in every place?  Colorado has beautiful light, my favorite being our many beautiful sunsets right over the mountains.  Its a moment of Godliness every time.  Thats what I might miss the most.  But not enough to STAY!  lol